Who are you when you are not trying to be someone?
Identity and Self-Worth
We take on many distinct roles throughout our lives. We become partners, professionals, friends, parents and the specific individuals our families have come to know. While some roles feel entirely natural, others develop simply because they seem necessary for our survival or acceptance.
Perhaps you have learned to always be the agreeable, capable or overly responsible person in the room. You might be deeply accustomed to prioritizing other people's expectations, only to recognize much later what you actually wanted for yourself. Over time, it can become incredibly difficult to tell which parts of your identity feel chosen and which have been entirely shaped by the exhausting need to belong, succeed or avoid disappointment. Questions about self-worth are deeply complex and are rarely solved by simply telling ourselves to be more confident.
In therapy, we can become deeply curious about how you came to understand your own identity.
Whose expectations have historically mattered the most to you? What happens inside you when you disappoint someone else? What do you believe you must continuously do to deserve acceptance? We might explore these familiar roles through traditional conversation, symbolic imagery or structured story, noticing exactly how they restrict or influence the choices available to you today.
The intention of this work is not to uncover a single, perfect version of yourself hidden beneath everything else. Identity is dynamic; it develops continuously through experience and relationship, meaning our understanding of ourselves can always change.
Therapy offers a rare, non-judgmental opportunity to consider which ways of living continue to serve you and which may no longer feel like your own.
What we might do together:
Frequently Asked Questions
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Low self-esteem can leave you questioning your value and abilities; therapy can help you explore where these beliefs began and develop a more trusting relationship with yourself.
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Constant comparison, self-criticism, difficulty accepting compliments or worrying about others' opinions can be signs worth exploring in therapy.
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We can explore what confidence would mean in your life and practice expressing a preference or trying something that matters to you.
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We can explore whose approval matters to you and what you fear might happen without it. That can give us a place to begin.
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Sensitivity does not have to be treated as a defect. We can explore where it enriches your life and where you need support or different boundaries.
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We can consider the messages you received growing up and whether they still fit your experience today.
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We can explore what you fear might happen if you disappoint someone and practice expressing a limit in your own words.
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We can explore familiar beliefs and create room for new experiences of yourself. You do not need to feel confident before we begin.
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You do not need those answers before starting. Therapy can give you room to explore your preferences without immediately having to justify them.
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We can explore the origins of your inner critic and develop ways of relating to yourself with greater understanding, encouragement and compassion.
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Please see my FEES page for all of my session rates.
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If you plan to claim through insurance, check your coverage for a Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying) before booking.
Let's begin with a conversation.
Book a free 15-minute phone consultation to talk about what brings you here, ask questions and see how it feels to speak together.
There is no obligation to book a session afterward.
You may also want to explore relationship issues or anxiety and overthinking.